「 love was in the air, 11:45 PM 」

词曲:罗大佑

仿佛如同一场梦
我们如此短暂地相逢
你像一缕春风轻轻柔柔吹入我心中
而今何处是你往日的笑容
记忆中那样熟悉的笑容

你可 知道我爱你想你恋你怨你深情永不变
难道你不曾回头想想昨日的誓言
就算你留恋开放在水中娇艳的水仙
别忘了寂寞的山谷的角落里野百合也有春天

从来未曾拥有你
纵然喜怒哀伤和欢娱
从来未曾属于真情的是空欢的无语
而今当你说你将会离去
忽然间我开始失去我自己

你可知道我爱你想你恋你怨你深情永不变
难道你不曾回头想想昨日的誓言
就算你留恋开放在水中娇艳的水仙
别忘了寂寞的山谷的角落里野百合也有春天

你可知道我爱你想你恋你怨你深情永不变
难道你不曾回头想想昨日的誓言
就算你留恋开放在水中娇艳的水仙
别忘了寂寞的山谷的角落里野百合也有春天
......
啦.....啦.....啦.....啦.....
很想以华文表达我现在的心情 可是我不能。老了，生锈了。力不从心了。打字已经没有以前那样的快了而我的华文也没有以前的好。
So here it goes. For no apparent reason, i've been listening to this song very frequently recently. Dunno if it's cos of the nice melody or is it cos of the lyrics. Maybe it's also cos it reminds me of those days where i can listen to a song like that and sit and cry for hours non stop. Yeah, for those of you who dunno, i sat down, supposedly studying in the middle of the night but ended up crying like some mad woman. That was how silly i was. I shed tears for a guy who was absolutely not worth it and i knew that too.
But then, in those days, i felt alive. I felt that i was yes, you got it correct the first time, ALIVE! I know it may sound saddistic. I had to feel hurt and pain to feel alive. Recently, no matter how tired i am, no matter how sad i may be, and no matter how pms-ish i feel, i still don't cry. It's almost as if my tears are all gone. all wasted on him? Maybe. Maybe not.
Yishan used to be such a silly girl. Hahaaha... she would cry when her last performance in choir was ruin, when the choir didn't get a gold, when her juniors drove her mad and when the politics in choir were over whelming. She also cried herself silly when she watched those japanese and korean dramas which had to star a female lead who was going to die of cancer or something similiar and when her mum made her stop watching all those stupid vcds and go study. She would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and sit at the sofa in the living room and cry cos she was so worried she would be rock bottom in st nicks. She would cry just so that she can go to sleep without having to think too much. She was also the silly girl who sat in front of her primary school principal and cried cos she didn't wanna go st nicks with her miserable psle score of 256.
Now, she cries less. She cries only when there are some really major major issues that she cannot handle anymore. She cries about grandma's death which was about a year ago but that's all. Sometimes, she wonders why. Like now. I guess it's cos she has grown up. She kinda find it silly to cry over a female lead who has died in 3 other dramas already. But on the other hand, she wishes to do that once again. At least those tears were shed cos she had feelings. Now, she don't feel anything anymore. When someone she used to like turned out to be an absolute jerk, he also took all hopes away. She no longer hopes for much. If she doesn't get the love she wants? Oh well, she gets a little whiny for a while but later gets back to life like nothing's wrong. She knows that she cannot be disappointed anymore. Simply because she cannot hope for too much. She is afterall a girl who has been dumped by a jerk ultimately.
(i have absolutely no clue why i wrote this calling myself "her" and "yishan". I guess it made it easier to write about my lifestory and sad stuff without being too involved... Self protection? Maybe, maybe not.)

YYY

He just messaged again today to ask me out. Now, i don't just suspect that something is wrong. I KNOW that he is up to no good. I bet he's got something up his sleeves. 100% sure plus chop plus thumb print, signature, and i will add my toe print if necessary. He's just being too enthusiastic to know about my life recently. I smell something fishy... Oh well, it's kinda good that he is suddenly so eager. Made me realise that not only do i not have feelings for him anymore, i'm truly disgusted with him. -pukes- -rolls eyeballs-
Anyway, i'll be meeting Huixia tomorow to study. So happy!!! Hahahah~ i haven't seen her in months. Miss her so much. Used to study with her all the time but now, very sianz... she's moved to Hougang and that is so bloody far from my house lar... The two of us can no longer do what we used to do -- Skip lessons just so that we can study with each other.
Hahahha... Can tell that i'm extremely happy yea? But then, i'm also very stressed!!! I'm really worried for my finance. I've been studying so hard(ok, maybe not veh veh hard) and still, i'm at the bottom of my class!!! I seriously dunno why it's like that. It's so different from my MA and FA. Slack and still get pretty decent grades. Is it cos of the class? I have no clue. I seriously miss my class alot. I miss Aileen, Ah Cui, Xiu Chun, Minsheng, Melissa, Janis, Yingshan, Ash, Uncle Ivan, Chris, Paul, Esther etc etc. There would always be people to go for breaks with me, stone with me during class, MSN and then later, stay in school and mug like crazy.
I think out of so many of them, i miss Xiu Chun and Ah Cui most. I talked to them most and all 3 of us study like mad all the time. HAhahha~ Yes, i've been staying in school to study with my freshies too but it's just different. I work harder when i am with Ah Cui and Xiu Chun. The two of them seem to have this ability to make me concentrate and cheong like mad. AHahhaha~
okok... gtg. Macrae just ended class.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 6:02 PM 」

He called again, in the middle of my sociology class. This is the 2nd time this week(by week, i mean the past 7 days, not this monday to this sunday). I didn't answer his call this time. What makes him think i am ready to have him back in my life? Just cos i replied his message? Oh well, i answer lotsa other ppl's messages too. Does that mean that i have no grudge against that person? Seriously, i have so little trust in him that i think he is up to no good again. I somehow feel that he wants me back so that he can have some form of a back up again. Yeah... i seriously think that no single part of him is good.
Oh well, some part of me knows that if i wanna move on, i hafta forgive, forget and eventually put this burden down. But yet, some part of me don't dare to do so. I am worried that if i do so, i will end up hurt and injured again. I dunno man... Right now, i don't think i am ready to move on yet. I'll just carry the burden around. Somehow, i think that's easier than letting it all go.

YYY

OK... FINALLY got my tagboard back again. It still looks a little ugly but oh whatevers... it shall hafta be like that for the time being. I'm too lazy to change. So my dearies, darlings and honeys or whatever-you-are, just leave notes when ever u feel like it. =)

YYY
「 love was in the air, 11:01 PM 」

Know that you wanna be left alone but at the same time, i can't let u feel that you are all alone either because i know u will start thinking too much again. And as u know, i'm not very good at expressing myself with words. So here goes babe,

You'll Never Walk Alone -- Hayley Westernra

When you walk through a storm,
Hold your head up high,
And don't be afraid of the dark,
At the end of a storm, there's a golden sky,
And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown...

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never walk alone...

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone


Babe, i know that u wanna change your life. I agree that having some sort of change might be good. But seriously, u are not really thinking of a chnage now. U are thinking of giving up. I dun wanna see u fall. Please don't do that to me.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 1:17 PM 」

Sitting in TWC class now... really stoning. The project group is presenting on how cell phones evolved. Whatever la... so many technical terms. They really trying to kill me. I'm starving and ask me to listen to so much.
Anyway, the group presenting now is talking about how Beer is made and how it evolved. I must admit they are doing a pretty good job. Can really tell that they put in a lot of effort BUT, tmd... spoil market. They actually did a website for the project. Seriously, the webby is nothing very fascinating. Just simple powerpoint slides posted on the net. And now, they giving out notes and showing video. Kaoz... don't spoil market la... simple project only then work so hard. Haiz... now, i'm almost 100% certain that i will be getting a B- for TWC... Every term, i will get a B- which will pull my overall GPA down. Looks like this term i might actually have more than 1 B-. -Stressed-

YYY
「 love was in the air, 1:29 AM 」

yeah... i know. This is my 3rd skin in the past 2 weeks. I think i really ought to be doing my work rather than wasting so much time on my blog. Haiz... I have no idea why but this term, i seem to be finding all sorts of excuses not to do work.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 1:17 PM 」

adopt your own virtual pet!

Hahha` was supposed to be doing my QM project report when my sister insisted that i saw her new pet. Sooo... hahah~ sorry. Very tempted man. =D

YYY
「 love was in the air, 2:58 PM 」

adopt your own virtual pet!

Saw Rolly Polly on Jill's blog and i couldn't help myself but get one for my blog too. HAhhahz~ I still think Rolly Polly is cuter but den, cannot!!! Must have originality... hahah

YYY

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

ah-ah,ah-ah,ah-ah,aah-ah
ah-ah,ah-ah,ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

ah-ah,ah-ah,ah-ah,aah-ah
ah-ah,ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

most people think this song is very sad... I kinda agree but then this is what i feel now and i'm not sad!!! I really want someone to find me and appreciate me for who i am... But if it takes time for this person to appear then nvm... just let things move slowly. I'm ok with that. I'm okay with walking alone... Yes, walking alone is lonely, scary and really tiring sometimes. This i cannot lie about... But so what? Walking alone makes me stronger, it has made me what i am today... so what's wrong even if i have to walk alone for a while more?
Honestly, nothing is wrong with walking alone. So why am i talking so much about wanting someone special in the past few entries? Cos i kinda lost my confidence a few months back.... I doubt myself now. I wonder if i am as strong as i used to be. I wonder if i am still as attractive as i was. Now, i dress up more, i play more, i am more girl girl than ever before. BUT, that does not mean that i am more attractive than before. In fact, i think through all these dressing up and what not, i have lost a part of me. I don't have the character i had before... in chinese, they call it 性格。I guess i can never deny that he hurt me and made me start to doubt myself. But then it really isn't his fault... I should have been smarter... A little more discretion should have been exercised. But it's all in the past already... There's nothing i can do to turn back time. All i can do is try to figure out how i can get old self back... It's gonna be a long long journey but i have to go through it. Alone if necessary... If i dun, i will never be able to move on.
And oh... another entry that starts with lyrics... hahahah... Never knew i was so so so so into songs and their lyrics. =P

YYY
「 love was in the air, 12:35 AM 」

One more day and it's official. It will be one year already. One year ago, i was standing at the bus stop outside CK Tangs with my Celeste dearie when i received the news. I was on my way to celebrate Zhiqi and Munchie's birthday. That time, i was still very optimistic. I believed that since she has always been so strong, battling cancer shouldn't be impossible.
Now, i know. She was strong yes, but also very stubborn. She could have battle it. But she refuses to do so cos she herself knew that it was in the terminal stage and also cos she didn't wanna be a burden to the rest of her family. I still remember what happened when i went to visit her one day. My mummy was staying over and so i thought i should drop by for a visit after school. She insisted that my mummy went to sleep and so my mum, in order to pacify my her, did as she was told. Before my mum went to bed, she gave me specific instructions not to let my grandma do anything at all. However, the moment my mum went to sleep, my grandma stood up and started doing all the housework. She was already so weak at that time and yet, she insisted that she hangs the clothes out to dry, wash Samuel's shirts (BY HAND!!!) and she even wanted to sweep the floor. When i offered to help, she would chase me out of the kitchen. Thinking back, it was kinda funny how i kept going to the kitchen to look in the fridge just to keep an eye on her. Haaahhaz~ she was stubborn till we had to resort to such methods.
But it was this stubborn-ness that made me ask God to let her go. My aunts and mummy were crying so much because they really really wanted to help relieve her of all the pain but she refuses to let them help. And when she eventually does ask for help, we know that her condition has gotten worse and she is one step nearer to God. It was because of her stubborn nature that when we saw her lying on the bed so helpless, we knew that she was suffering more now than even before. If she had a choice, she would really just choose to end her life. She was a woman with such great pride. She would never wanna live to let us see her the way she was. And this was why we were praying to ask God to let her go. Let her go with some pride. She has had enough.
Haiz... i have no clue why i've been thinking so much about her these few days. Maybe cos it's nearing the 1 year anniversary so i think more? Well, like i've already mentioned, there's no way i can bring her back to life. I'll just hafta treasure those who are still around then.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 2:53 PM 」

Today has been such a mad rush. Supposed to have proj presentation rehearsal but Sheen called. Apparently, there has been an emergency. Sheryl cannot be found, her work is not done, and most importantly, WE HAVE TO SEND THE PARCEL TODAY!!!
So how? In the end, i had to skip my rehearsal and stay home to edit the document, then go to peace centre to get the colored paper and run to prof to do the printing. I was nearly late for lessons and my presentation was the first to go!!! Hell... So rushed can? No time for a breather at all...
Anyway, it seems like everything is on track now but so bad... we had to trouble esther larh... and she's not even in our project. Whatever... it willa ll be over soon.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 10:13 PM 」

Feeling really tired now... both mentally and physically. Dunno if it's cos i'm getting old or it cos i'm discouraged.
I've been waiting since this morning for my research partner to send me the file that i hafta print and send to Denmark by monday. Till now, it is still not here and i really really have no idea where i can find time to rush all that work out. And if that's not enough, my qm mate insists that scenario 5 cannot be done. Not that i blame her. She has put in enough effort.. but den that will mean that i hafta try to clear scenario 5... i'm seriously tired la... Qm has pissed me off enough for smtime...
And of cos... if all that's not enough, i hafta suddenly get reminded of the fact that a year ago, my grandma was diagnosed with cancer. I guess my grandma's 3 month fight with cancer will always haunt me. I know it's been a year and that i should not let it affect me so much but it's really not as easy as i would want it to be. I can't help it but wonder if i have done enough. I can't help it but wonder why i didn't walk in and just hold her hand on that last night. Why didn't i just dump all my work and run down to her place? Why is it that i only regret after the whole thing? Why couldn't God just let me see that if i didn't do certain things, i would live to regret it? Why can't i do anything now to turn back time?
I've never told anyone this... The night before my grandma passed away, she was in great pain. And at one moment, she looked out of her room, saw me and i thought i saw a smile. She OBVIOUSLY wanted me to go in and be there at her bedside. She SMILED AT ME!!! But what did i do? I stayed outside the room and stood at the door and just prayed. Was that all i could do? I asked God to deliver her from all that pain. I knew that she would go away either that day or the day after that. I wanted her to go... i seriously couldn't watch my mum, my aunts, my uncles and of cos, her herself suffer anymore. 3 months may not be very long but it's enough. And so, this brings me back to my point... If i already knew that she was gonna go off anytime soon, why didn't i do something for her? Why didn't i just go in and said that i really really love her and that when i was younger, i was just being silly? When i said that she was biased, i was just joking... I seriously didn't mind not receiving the showers of gifts she gave to Ying jie jie, Kor and Samuel boy... I knew that she really loved me.
I remember that when i was a lot younger, i would ask my mummy how come Ah Po treated Kor so much nicer than she treated me. Once, mummy told Ah Po what i said. A few months later, when she came back from a KL trip, she came back with bags of gifts from me. I used to be able to show off to my friends the 9 nice cartoon bags that i received as gifts from my grandma. Hahhaz~ such silly behaviour. But now, thinking of the silly behaviour will not make me smile anymore. It just makes me wanna cry cos i noe that i will never receive any more gifts from her.
Oh well, there's really nothing i can do now to make her come back to life. There are only a few things that i know i wanna do and i will MAKE SURE i do them.
1) Bring my future bf to her grave and visit her
2) After i grad and start to work, i will visit her grave as and when i am free. I wanna show her my cert too. I'm sure she will be happy for me.
3) When i eventually have a family of my own, i wanna bring all my kid there and show them their great grandma. =)
Oh dear... the list seems to be getting a little long n repetitive. Basically, i wanna show how happy i am , how happy i will be etc. =)
Anyway, despite all the sadness and gloomy stuff that has been surrounding me, there's still happy news. Hahahhaz~ i've been made an aunt. 2nd time... ahhah... I now have a dearest mid autumn baby niece. =)

YYY
「 love was in the air, 6:20 PM 」

Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo
Copyright 1997, Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP)

Hey girl, what is the matter?
You're crying your heart out again
Don't lie, girl
This was not some accident
Your bruises, they give you away
Your face sighs in shades of blue purple
Your eyes tell a story of pain

Walk away
You're worth more
than he'll ever realise
Baby walk away
Spare yourself this pain
Can't you see that he's not worth it?
You're not meant to be treated this way
Baby walk away

You say that
You really love him
You say that he'll know this someday
But your face still sighs in blue purple
Your eyes tell a story of shame

Walk away
You're worth more
than he'll ever realise
Baby walk away
Spare yourself this pain
Can't you see that he's not worth it?

You've been waiting for his love for so many years
Well girl,
You may not live to see that day
Baby walk away

You're not meant to be treated this way
Baby walk away
Baby walk away
Baby walk away


If only someone told me this earlier in the year. Then maybe i wouldn't hafta go through all that shit and now be afraid to try because the new one reminds me of him. Oh well, not as if no one told me to dump him... i guess i was just too stubborn.
In fact, sometimes i wonder. Why the hell did i take so long? Why was i so silly? Why did i allow him to treat me like a back up? Like a doormat... But then again, when people tell me things like "he's a jerk larh... yishan, u deserve better.", i can't help but wanna defend him. It was also my fault. I firmly believe that if any relationship goes wrong, the blame should be on both people. Well, if i didn't act so silly, if i didn't appear to be such an easy catch, if i didn't fall so easily, maybe, just maybe, things wouldn't have turned out the way they did.
Oh whatever, it's all over. It's time to move on. Don't ask me to put down whatever happened in the past. I can't... It was a lesson i learned and i intend to keep it with me. Yes, i intend to keep that scar. If the present fella i like just happend to remind me of him, then too bad. I will just hafta find another guy who is totally different. I'm sorry if i hafta be so weak and afriad to move on. I'm already trying very hard.
Anyway, gtg. Going for a concert with Jill dear... hahah~ haven't seen Char and Da and haven't gone out with Jill for soOOoOoO mega long... Miss them so much. I'm pretty sure today will be cool~ =)

YYY
「 love was in the air, 5:36 PM 」

Someone mentioned that my blog a bit too obvious. Hahhahz~ Even though i have never mentioned his name but i think it's quite obvious who he is as long as you know the people i hang out with. Looks like i better not be so obvious. Especially since i am giving up on him.
Anyway, saw zach just now. And he asked how come i didn't run for tri touch exco...Ahahha.. how to run? Yishan hasn't taken part in any Tritouch activities in the past one year worh... I seriously have no more ambition anymore. Wanted to be the president of Tritouch.... It seemed like an easy task. There was no real leader in Tritouch. But now with the number of ppl in my year doing so much for TriTouch, there is no real need for me to be in TriTouch.
Honestly, i think i am more suited for a life with no CCA at all. I don't like to be tied down to something and i also don't like to have to be involved with something long term. Hahhah~ yes yes, i have a committment problem. That's why i'm not attached... to a guy, a cca, a bunch of ppl or anythg at all. =P I like a carefree lifestyle. Haha... Then why am i complaining so much about not being attached and not being able to attract the attn of the guys i like? Well, cos i wanna enjoy all the benefits of being attached without having to give up on my present lifestyle. That's just so difficult and almost impossible. =P
Anyway, i've gotta go for my YP soon. Will update again someday. And er... in short, today is a good day!!!

YYY

-stoning in QM class- Haiz... macrae very funny one. Sometimes she goes so fast my brain goes boom but some other times, she goes so slow i just can't make myself listen. Was online yesterday till 3am... now really tired. If i dun blog, i think i sure sleep one...
Anyway, today is the 4th day he's been missing in action. I feel really tempted to message him but forget it la... i'm supposed to give up on him and move on to another guy. Ahahha... actually i was wondering yesterday why i would choose to hold on. Was playing truth or truth with sam yesterday... and typical questions included " who wld u choose as hubby or who wld u choose as fling?" Ahahah.... i realised that all the answers which involved a person's character, i didn't choose him. I chose him as fling, the bod for my dream guy, the one i might wanna have sex with. Ahahhh~ never once did i say anything about me wanting him to be my bf or my hubby. Neither did i defend him when sam was saying that he's wild. Hahaah~
Maybe i should just take the advice of my lacy dear... hahha... =)

YYY

"if u don't stand, how can u fall?" -- Interesting quote from some funny movie i watched during sociology class.
Have i tried to stand yet? Have i really opened my heart yet? Have i tried hard enough to show him what i feel?
If yes, then i think the answer is pretty obvious. He is not interested. So if that's the case, why should i continue? Why should i continue to invest in a stock that i think will lose $$?
If no, then why should i continue? So far, i've not been getting a response from him. No response = no interest. I firmly believe that if a guy is interested in u, he WILL let u noe. He will make sure that u know. So if i can't tell, that's it. He's not interested.
I've been told that he's a potential jerk and that he is not a guy whom other girls will be attracted to. So why am i still hanging on? Hmmm... maybe cos he seems to be the easiest catch? Maybe because of loniness? No matter what the reason is, i can't seem to find the correct reason to continue.
Conclusion: Give up.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 7:46 PM 」

Hey babe, know u love this song. Hahah... but sadly, this post not dedicated to u. =P

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world
Everybody wants a piece of me
And I just don't know where to turn
I've got work piled up to my head
All I want to do is jump into bed
And wash away my troubles
with lemonade
Play hide and seek
with the boy next door
Take a trip to Singapore and
Imagine how I'll make the world
a better place

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-
Yeah

If I were a little girl
Trying to clean up the whole wide world
I'd kick the bad boys back to school
Teach them fighting's just not cool
I'd give every kid a teddy bear
Turn starving people into millionaires
Break glass ceilings with dynamite
sprinkle a little sugar and spice
Turn the bullies that terrorize
Into pink poodles that bark,
but don't bite

All I need is a good disguise
One where nobody can recognise
That I'm feeling so small
All I need is a secret weapon
I've gotta have faith
Zapping monsters into outer space
I'm gonna be a Superhero

Na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na
Na-na-na-na-na-na-
Yeah

Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me
Little Superhero Girl
Little Superhero Girl
Save me from myself

I feel like a little girl
Trying to conquer the whole wide world

Seriously, EVERYONE wants a piece of me. Such a scary world can? My QM project, Finance project proposal, TWC project presentation,Finance quiz, ALL due in week 5. I used to love profs who put everything at the start of the term but now i wonder... why the hell do all my profs hafta think the same way?
-curses and swears- ^*%&$^#$%@%#@%#@^$&$%*%
And as if that's not enough, my sociology project proposal also due soon, in week 6. And and... someone lied... said he would come and study together but wtf, where the hell is he? Haven't seen him in 3 bloody days.
Anyway, ZAP!!! ZAP those monsters away.. get them away from me. Yishan, KILL KILL KILL!!!

YYY
「 love was in the air, 12:10 AM 」

babe, this is just for you... Even though i have a bad feeling that u are going to kill me... hahah~

Take The quiz yourself

hahah~ i know u gonna bang wall very soon. But seriously, i can't help it if both my sis n i are so likable and we just HAD TO get KON!!! wahhahs... -saddistic evil laughter-

YYY
「 love was in the air, 8:13 PM 」

Sitting in school now... so tired... from doing nothing at all. Hahhah~ i've wasted about 6 hours in school now? The only things i have done is to do up my powerpoint slides and read my QM case study. These 2 things could have been easily done in less than 2 hours. Oh dear... Yishan really needs to learn how to concentrate on her work... Ahahha~ she's still not in the working mode, and it's already week 4!!!
Haiz... really worried about my grades this term... I hope to be able to maintain an average of A-. Ahahah... very ambitious for a slacker like me yea? Oh dear... i really really need to start mugging, Someone please take away all my distractions pls!!! Including timmy john!!! As much as i enjoy seeing him around in school, he's such a great distraction. I can easily spend like 30 minutes talking to my friends about him... He's such a time waster... hahah...
Btw, i gtg. Will update later. My dearest cass finally finished her readings... hahah... She finished herw ork on one whole chapter of income tax can? She makes me feel bloody guilty la... =P

YYY

Finally changed my blogskin. Hope u guys like it. Hahahah... thought this skin was very cute and it's very yishan. =)
Anyway, my dear babe, hope u dun mind me putting all those quotes i got from your blog. Ahahaha... really loved them too much. So much that i just couldn't leave them alone.
*yawnz* Really tired... 2 am already. Time to sleep. Will update again when i'm free. =)

YYY
「 love was in the air, 2:10 PM 」

Everything In Its Time

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Will we ever be happy babe? I dunno... but like what this song says... everything in its time. I guess what we are wishing for will come someday. Just a matter of sooner or later. Maybe God just wanted us to wait a little longer and go through a little more. Remember what i said a couple of months back? God put us through all the lessons and pain we go through because He has a mission for us to accomplish. Right now, i really dunno what this mission is and i really feel like giving up but dear, let's try to hang on a little longer k? I'm pretty sure He has something beautiful waiting for us at the end of all these self doubt and pain. =) -Hugz- I love ya babe.

YYY
「 love was in the air, 11:04 PM 」

Alone again tonight
Without someone to love
The stars are shining bright
So one more wish goes up
Oh I wish I may
And I wish with all my might
For the love I'm dreaming of
And missing in my life

You'd think that I could find
A true love of my own
It happens all the time
To people that I know
Their wishes all come true
So I've got to believe
There's still someone out there who
Is meant for only me

I guess I must be wishing on
Someone else's star
It seems like someone else keeps getting
What I'm wishing for
Why can't I be as lucky
As those other people are
I guess I must be wishing
On someone else's star

I sit here in the dark
And stare up at the sky
But I can't give my heart
One good reason why
Everywhere I look
It's lovers that I see
It seems like everyone's in love
With everyone but me

I guess I must be wishing on
Someone else's star
It seems like someone else keeps getting
What I'm wishing for
Why can't I be as lucky
As those other people are
I guess I must be wishing
On someone else's star

Why can't I be as lucky
As those other people are
Oh, I guess I must be wishing
On someone else's star

Haiz... Babe, i agree. Sad song... Totally describes what we are feeling nowadays. -curses the freshies- (even though i really love them... maybe a little more than i should) Anyway, realised how the two of us are blogging more nowadays?

YYY
「 love was in the air, 11:17 PM 」

Desperado
Why don't you come to your senses
You've been out riding fences for so long now
Oh you're a hard one
But I know that you've got your reasons
These things that are pleasing you will hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy
She'll beat you if she's able
The queen of hearts is always your best bet
Well it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the things that you can't get

Desperado
you know you ain't getting younger
Your pain and your hunger are driving you home
And freedom, oh freedom
Well that's just some people talking
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the wintertime
Sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losing all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away

Desperado
Why don't you come to your senses
Come down from your fences
Open the gate
It may be raining
But there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you
Let somebody love you
Before it's too late

me = desperado? seriously, me dunno. Sianz.. me feel like i'm going through history again. Damnit... off goes LT n here comes someone else.

YYY

Went for service today... must say i was truly touched by the word. Today, Reverend Dunn talked about leading a balanced life. Looks like he's correct, very often, the service u find hard to attend is the very service that will benefit u the most.
I hafta confess, my life these few weeks haven't been very balanced. I have been paying too much attention to my friends and very very little to my family. Was feeling kinda guilty when Ryan says he absolutely hates ppl who take their family for granted. =P
Anyway, yishan is in a pretty sianz mood today. She has no idea why she is waiting and hoping to get smthg that she noes she wun get. Honestly, she also dunno why it is affecting her mood. It's afterall just an sms. Maybe cos it reminds her of a particular jerk who used to ignore her messages. Maybe it's cos she's in deep shit... she might actually have feelings for this guy. Kaoz... need to get out of it!!!

YYY